Australia
A Taylor Swift Takeover of Summer in Australia!
Who IS Taylor Swift? What does she want? And how did a country singer from Pennsylvania invade Australia so easily – exposing children to country things like high boots, rhinestones and sad stories.
SANDY: The ‘Summer of Tay Tay’ in Australia has come to an end and like OMG, not gonna lie, like, I can’t even… sooo NOT ready for her to go Brian…
BRIAN: Ah huh…
SANDY: But weren’t we blessed to witness Taylor Swift slay her way through Melbourne and Sydney, changing lives, fixing our social and economic problems, and restoring female pride in just 10 days and 7 shows.
BRIAN: Ah huh…
SANDY: More than 600,000 people attended the pop star’s ‘Eras Tour’ – 96,000 crammed into Melbourne’s MCG on three consecutive nights for the largest shows of the 34 year old’s career. Sydney followed up with 4 magical shows, before Taylor was whisked away to prepare for her asian leg of the tour – 6 shows exclusive to Singapore which their government reportedly paid between $2-3 million per show to secure locking every ‘Swiftie from S.E. Asia into the city state’s airlines, hotels and tourist traps. A bargain considering Singapore expects to add up to $US 300 million to its economy from the tour, on the back of huge windfalls for Japan and Australia Brian!
BRIAN: Ah huh…
SANDY: The hype around Taylor Swift in the media has been astonishing, not seen since Beatle-Mania in the 60’s and the Dan Andrews’ Covid Press Conferences of 2020 and 21. Fans with or without tickets dressed up, camped outside venues and stalked restaurants and nightspots to sneak a glimpse of the pop star. Our very own Bella & Wayne Calzetti are still at Sydney Airport after watching the popstars private jet leave our shores. OMG you guys! How was the show?
BELLA: OMG! It was the most amazingest best show I ever seen in my life! I still ‘un-believe’ I was there, Sandy!
SANDY: OMG, I’m so happy for you guys! I went on the first night in Melbourne! It was amazing!
BELLA: OMG! So amazing! Why did she have to leave?
SANDY: OMG, I know. It’s so sad.
BELLA: OMG, right? She plays those 4 chords and you dance all through the night! I’ll never forget singing those 3 songs I know from the radio
SANDY: OMG! Do you wanna swap friendship bracelets?
BELLA OMG! Of course!
SANDY: OMG! Great! Oh – And Wayne! You were there too?
WAYNE: …I bought the tickets for Bella’s birthday…
SANDY: Sorry, I didn’t quite get that Wayne?
WAYNE: I bought the tickets to the show last year…
SANDY: Sorry, what?
WAYNE: Oh! – “OMG” I bought the Tay Tay tickets for my boo…
SANDY: OMG! What an amazing guy Bella! You’re a very lucky lady!
BELLA: OMG I know! I’m very lucky… Especially after hearing about all of Taylor Swift’s relationship problems for 3 straght hours…
SANDY: OMG right! Well, it’s been great to talk with you both and Wayne, I’m very happy to hear you weren’t the guy that was punched in the face by Taylor’s dad [VID] before they left Sydney!
SANDY: Super fans Bella and Wayne Calzetti live there from Sydney Airport – over to you Brian…
BRIAN: Ah huh… Well, this ‘Swift’ character does seem fantastic… But is there a darker side to this worldwide obsession? Who IS Taylor Swift? Who let her in? What does she want? And how did a country singer from Pennsylvania invade our border so easily, exposing children to country things, like high boots, rhinestones and sad stories. Many believe a global conspiracy may be at the heart of the Swift phenomenon, and we have expert conspiracy theorist Cody Bootliner here to help explain things…
“Who IS Taylor Swift? Who let her in? What does she want? And how did a country singer from Pennsylvania invade our border so easily, exposing children to country things, like high boots, rhinestones and sad stories”.
CODY: Thanks for having me Brian
BRIAN: Cody, Taylor Swift stories have completely [Show Headlines] dominated headlines for over a month now – it’s been quite the saturation, hasn’t it?
CODY: It’s just…weird. It’s not like it’s the first time she’s been here? She toured Australia in 2009, 10, 12, 13, 15 and 18. But this just feels different, and it’s the same script all over the world… It’s gotta be a global conspiracy Brian!
BRIAN: Well, I’m not sure I’d go that far just yet but there is something that feels a bit ‘off’ about this tour…
CODY: Oh there’s some kind of mind control conspiracy here for sure… Look at the ‘cult-like’ behaviour coming out of the ‘States – media outlets employing full-time Taylor Swift reporters to follow her around [PIC: Quote: former depressed alcoholic self-proclaimed obsessed fan boy], the VMA’s [Video Music Awards] ran a livestream of Swift’s facial reactions, and Harvard, Stamford and CAL Berkeley are offering degrees in her Life and Music! She’s Time Magazine’s ‘Person of the Year’ [PIC: one of the great storytellers on our planet], Billboard’s Number 1 Artist, Forbes’ Most Powerful Women in Media, People’s Most Intriguing Person of the Year – she even got an honorary Doctorate of Fine Arts from New York University!
BRIAN: Well, that is strange… I even heard that Prime Minister Albanese couldn’t stop name-dropping the popstar…
CODY: Which one?
BRIAN: Taylor Swift?
CODY: Oh, ‘cause he was at a private Katy Perry show the same weekend he got his free Taylor Swift tickets.
BRIAN: Oh? He’s a busy man that Albo – He couldn’t be in on this ‘conspiracy’ Cody, Could he?
CODY: Oh, he’s in on the conspiracy for sure… That’s the brainwashing part Brian. Do you know that 1 in 5 Americans believe US Democrats are in cahoots with Tayor and her new boyfriend from the National Football League, so they can leverage their popularity to activate Americans to vote for Joe Biden in this year’s election?
BRIAN: But most of her fans aren’t even old enough to vote…
CODY: No, wait! Stay with me here Brian! Let’s go right out there for a second!
BRIAN: You mean, like, Alex Jones ‘out there’?
CODY: C’mon! You can’t ALWAYS be INNformation with everyone Brian! Hear me out – There’s a global conspiracy happening right now designed to make the general population passive so they’ll accept any government control mechanism that’s thrown at them. They’re using Taylor to idolise feminism and support gender fluidity while condemning traditional male roles as ‘toxic masculinity’ and ‘part of the patriarchy’. Did you know a third of all Taylor Swift’s songs are about breaking-up with men? That’s a third of her income and exactly the same ratio of the divorce rate in Australia btw! They’re activating Taylor to break up the traditional family which is a fundamental part of Marxist/Socialist ideology!
BRIAN: Oh God! What have we done?
CODY: Women are considering cancelling their Kidney transplant surgery to go to the Eras Tour. And then, of course, you have all the bloody Illuminati and Satan worshipping you get with billionaires these days…
SANDY: OMG Brian! Do something!
BRIAN: Let him run out of steam Sands! The e-safety commissioner will have this censored anyway…
CODY: … Which is why you always follow the money! News.com.au used the Eras Tour to flat out run affiliate ads for Tay Tay products right there in news report Brian! Look around you! Sandy and Bella sound like 13 year old girls! Men are wearing rhinestone cowgirl boots and mini dresses! Taylor Swift is a CIA PsyOp and global Marxist conspiracy to destroy the fabric of our entire society!!!
BRIAN: Ok! Umm, thanks for coming in, Cody… We might stick with our INNformation policy for now, but you do have many interesting points there…
CODY: We need to wake people up Brian…
BRIAN: Of course we do, yes, you’re absolutely right. Just head over to that lovey security sock over there who can show you out buddy…
CODY: Security sock?
BRIAN: Yes, ah, The Drudge? Could you show Mr Bootliner out please? [The Drudge Walks by…] Cody Bootliner there on the dangers of becoming obsessed by popular culture.
