Albo Defeats Scomo on Aussie Vote and Snag Day

Brian Sockington: Australians are celebrating INNformation as voters returned the social democratic Labor party back to its rightful position at the helm of the country’s government. Anthony Albanese, born in a lowly stable outside a Sydney commission housing flat, defeated the unanimously hated marketing manager-turned-prime minister Scott Morrison, as was widely reported before the election began.

While many outside and inside Australia were unaware an election had been called, millions attended the traditional sausage sizzles around the country, many even staying on to vote.

Christinea Soleitch: Long lines were visible near BBQ’s across the nation as Australian democracy returned to its most easily understood form of white bread, ground pig fat and cheap tomato sauce. The future of our nation, in the sticky hands of hungry citizens, some waiting up to 2.5 hours for a sausage-in-a-bread 3 years in the making.

“Australian democracy returned to its most easily understood form of white bread, ground pig fat and cheap tomato sauce”.

And there was fun for the children too, with ABC Kids characters promoting social justice activism and communist propaganda. As bands struck up, many even risking the Covid danger from singers and wind instruments, it was often hard to tell there was an election on at all. But over 15 and a half million Australians did vote, even if many couldn’t remember who they voted for when they got home to watch Married at First Sight, which just pipped the ABC’s Election ratings by about 1 million viewers.

Cold sausages and stale bread was kept aside for any Liberals brave enough to join the throngs of vegetarian, gluten free Labor enthusiasts – and Australia’s digital citizens also got into the spirit of the election, viciously abusing each other at rates unseen since the backlash against Freedom Protesters from late last year.

Watch the Global Reaction to Albo’s Elections!