INN SportsWrap – JANUARY 2023

SANDY HOSIER: Our mate Joe ‘SnakeDog’ Sockic joins us now live from the Australian Open at Melbourne Park, and Joe the event has really taken on a new level of political importance after Novak Djokovic’s Dad was caught partying with those horrible Russian fans?  

JOE SOCKIC: Yep summer’s here and the news is getting dominated by Tennis again, but this year’s Aus Open has been a bit of a tough sell without its usual draw cards including Roger Federer, The Williams Sisters, the men’s number one Carlos Alcaraz, and the woman’s number one, ah, whats-her-name? Then Nick Kyrios pulls out on day one and Rafa gets beaten on day 3, and we’re left with this story about NoVaxx bloody Djokovic’s dad who stopped for a photo with these possible Nazis and Putin lovers…

SANDY: They were partying together, weren’t they?

JOE: Oh, they probably were Hosie…

SANDY: No, they were Joe, or you’re segment would be much shorter… 

JOE: Oh, yeah, they went out partying, and getting up to no good, and all that… but you gotta admit it adds a little entertainment to the tournament ey? And we ALMOST let NoVAXX make the final without being a villain again. Almost makes this stuff from last year seem tame! Remember Rebecca Maddern calling Djoker the ‘A-word’ on the news?

Anyway, spoilers, ah, NoVAXX won his 10th Australian Open… but all eyes were on his opponent, Melbourne’s favourite son, the Greek God, Stefanos Sexypants who didn’t disappoint… aside from losing to NoVaxx in straight sets… Anyway, here comes the first INN SportsWrap of the New year…

1. Tennis: The Australian Open served up a host of interesting moments.  Andy Murrary, who’s more machine than man now, went deep, while Belarussian Aryna Sabalenka made the most of not being banned like she was at Wimbledon, beating Elena Rybakina in an entertaining 3 setter to win her maiden Grand Slam title. 
2. Hockey World Cup: The often overlooked World Hockey Championships took place in India, with the German team beating the Belgians in the final, and The Netherlands upsetting Australia to take bronze… Ah, Wait… Grass?! Oh Geez, I thought we were talking about Ice hockey! Get something else up the Drudge! THE DRUDGE: – Kazoo JOE: Oh, anything mate… Put the snooker and darts on if ya have to… Oh you did, you cheeky mongrel! (Kazoo) 
3. Ok, well Christopher Dobey won the Darts Masters in Milton Keynes, England, and Mark Allen def Judd Trump in the Snooker Grand Prix so everyone was happy.

JOE: Alright, back to you Brian and a Happy New Year to you, Hosey and the beautiful Jane Bunion as well…