Weather
INN Weather – DECEMBER 2023
Everything looks right to go for a beautiful Australian summer – aside from a little Coronal Mass Ejection heading straight for Earth. INN’s Jane Bunion is here to provide all the information you need to stay safe in preperation for our Sun’s upcoming ‘solar maximum’.
BRIAN: Happy Holidays Jane! What’s up with the weather this month?
JANE: Well, not much actually – We’re looking forward to some lovely Christmas sunshine (VO: Holiday Sunshine Jane!) Holiday sunshine, sorry, as the southern hemisphere celebrates the, umm… season – with the beautiful December weather we’d expect at this time of the year…
BRIAN: Wow, that’s uh, that’s good – if a little short…? But I suppose ‘no news is good news’ when you’re in a climate crisis, isn’t that right Jane?
JANE: That is right Brian…
BRIAN: So… Ahh… nothing left to do now but enjoy those sunny rays, hey?
JANE: Yup, nothing to worry about – all set for another perfect Aussie summer – well, aside from the coronal mass ejection of the sun due to hit the Earth…
BRIAN: Ok Jane! I guess we’ll see you again after the… Umm, wait?
JANE: Yes Brian?
BRIAN: What was that about the horrible mass ejection of the sun?
JANE: The coronal mass ejection?
BRIAN: Yes, that one! That sounds important…
JANE: What do you want to know about it?
BRIAN: Well, I’d like to know what it is, for one?
JANE: Oh, right! I’m sure it’s nothing Brian – Just a little massive solar flare and a geomagnetic storm that scientists thinks could disrupt radio, tv and GPS communications – I wouldn’t worry about it…
BRIAN: Hold on! Are you saying the sun’s activity could potentially kill our communications Jane? When’s that supposed to happen?
JANE: I think they said it happened already?
BRIAN: Wait… What? Where?!
JANE: Well, I don’t know where Brian? I’m a meteorologist, not a cosmologist – But large solar flares like this coronal mass ejection can be destructive – particularly as we approach the sun’s ‘solar maximum’ or peak of its 11-year energy cycle that produces increased sunspots and solar flares that can increase global temperatures by .2deg and damage satellites and the technology we need for communication…
BRIAN: All from the sun’s solar flares?
JANE: Sorry?
BRIAN: The communications breakdowns?
JANE: … the communication breaks down…?
BRIAN: Yes – you were saying this can happen because of the sun?
JANE: What can?
BRIAN: The communication breakdowns Jane! They can happen because of the sun!
JANE: Wow! You must have gone to the same meteorology school as me! The sun’s a very powerful circle in the sky, that’s one of the first things they teach you at weather school…
BRIAN: Right right, so before you take off, can you share a summer forecast with us for the holidays?
JANE: Oh of course! I have our exclusive INN 9-and-a-half day forecast ready, and you can see lovely temperatures stretching across the board and a bit there… and I think if we just multiply this forecast by another 9 and a half, adding the effects of the solar maximum, plus the man-made contributions to climate change… and uhh, Yup! There! Our very first 90-and-a-quarter day forecast which takes us all the way through to the end of summer Brian! Wow – there are some pretty high temperatures on the way – Be sure to slip-slop-slap-seek and slide to protect yourself, or if you’re not sure what that government message even means anymore, just head on over to Crazy Harry’s Hazmats, where you’ll find the right suit to keep you protected from anything that nuclear ball in the sky can throw at you. Crazy Harry’s – They make climate Hell, Hell-thy!
BRIAN: There you go, a meteorologist’s perspective on the sun’s ability to torment us from 149 million kms away. Thanks Jane.
