Finland Dances into NATO – The World’s Hottest Military Club

BRIAN SOCKINGTON: NATO – The North Atlantic Treaty Organisation of 1949, created by the US as a security measure against the Soviet Union, has decided now is the best time for expansion, extending their border with Russia by another 1300 kms by welcoming Finland to the military alliance of 31 member states. It was said to be another embarrassing blow to Russian President Vladimir Putin, although we can’t be sure because nobody is covering anything he says. Finnish Prime Minister and top-notch dancer Sanna Marin said reversing the military neutrality adopted by Finland since WWII, and joining NATO was the result of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. However, the ascension of Finland and other nations close to the Russian border go way back to the 1990’s, several nations having joined since… Um, just running out of time – so let’s go to Rupert Holesworthy with more… 

HOLESWORTHY: Like all the hottest clubs, NATO is one that everyone wants to be in, and one of the hardest to get into since 1949, when the military alliance first opened its doors to member states as a safe haven for a close-knit circle of friends from across the transatlantic divide. Today, the club is still kicking. Long standing patrons include the club’s founder, the USA, along with Canada and 30 other European member states including its new cool-kid VIP – Finland and their party-loving prime minister Sanna Marin. A regular on the club scene, NATO membership was priority one for the popular democratic socialist, who became Finland’s youngest ever Prime minister at age 34. Nothing would stop her from dancing her country to permanent guest list status, not even a covid infection could keep her off the dance floor at 4am. She turned Finland’s 30% approval rate of Club NATO to 80% in 2022, with the help of Russia’s military action in Ukraine.

“I think everybody in the room knew where we are heading and where we’re going but nobody said it out loud, like ‘we should join Nato now’. “It’s a dance. You have to make sure that everybody is on board.”

SANNA MARIN – FORMER PM of FINLAND

And now it’s time for Finland to confidently step out as an A-lister knowing their 1300 km border with Russia can not be threatened without the military retaliation of 31 other nations, a proud moment for the 37-year old prime minister…

BRIAN: Sorry Rupert, we interrupt this report with breaking news just in, and it seems Sanna Marin has just been defeated in the Finnish Election, by the centre-right National Coalition and far-right Finns Party, which have won a combined 41% of the vote, campaigning on issues such as leaving the EU and tightening expenditure on the overseas military intervention! Back to you Rupert

HOLESWORTHY: Umm… a proud moment for the 37-year-old Prime Minister, the most popular leader Finland has had this century… So, Club Nato is stronger than ever, but there are some club loving patrons that think its days at the top are numbered, including perennial A-lister and former US president Donald Trump, and Russian President Vladimir Putin.