Follow-up on the Nord Stream Pipeline Sabotage

SANDY HOSIER: Let’s revisit the serious and mysterious sabotage of the Nord Stream pipelines, the 1200km, 9.8 billion dollar Russian-backed gas distributors extending from Russia through to Germany. You might remember that they were blown up in November last year, causing an ecological catastrophe and a huge financial and political windfall for rivals to Russia’s energy infrastructure.

REMEMBER – On February 7 2022, US President Joe Biden declared that “If Russia invades [Ukraine], there will no longer be a Nord Stream 2. We will bring an end to it.”

SANDY: Esteemed journalist Seymore Hersh (KNEETOE: He’s not esteemed, he’s a kook!) Hold on Tony – Hersh published a controversial article titled “How America Took Out the Nord Stream Pipeline” which has left many experts baffled as to what exactly the journalist was trying to say. We’ve managed to track down expert political analyst Tony Kneetoe once again, to help us decipher this cryptic message, although I won’t be giving away your secret location like Brian did last time. 

KNEETOE: … I’m just in the lounge room today Sandy… 

SANDY: … Oh, umm, ok, it’s just there’s no footage coming through again…

KNEETOE: Yeah, I put duct tape over my camera to protect myself from government surveillance, but I can’t get the bloody stuff off now… 

SANDY: Right – we’ll just put those wavy lines up again then… Anyway, let’s begin with the latest fascinating revelations from Journalist Seymore Hersh…

KNEETOE: Journalist? This was a blog post from a washed up, anti-american old hack who was last relevant when Dinosaurs roamed the Earth…

SANDY: Right, well the article published on Substack was titled “How America Took Out The Nord Stream Pipeline” – I mean, it looks credible, although it was way too long for me to read of course (laughing), but the general idea’s pretty obvious from the title right?

KNEETOE: How America Took Out Nord Stream? What? On a date? How about burying the lead a bit, Seymour? People might be more interested to read your long winded, crappy article if you don’t spoil the plot in the headline stupid! 

SANDY: Yes, but the question is whether there’s any merit in the article?

KNEETOE: No, the question is, how can this unpatriotic fossil sleep at night and how many real journalists can we enlist to discredit this nutjob…

SANDY: Well it can’t be easy discrediting a man who’s won a Pulitzer Prize, five George Polk Awards, two National Magazine Awards, and more than a dozen other prizes for his journalism?

KNEETOE: We’re doing it right now Sandy! Anyone can rack up a few awards. Even this show. But look where Seymore Hersh is now? Writing lies on Substack like those Twitter an d Pfizer files! 

SANDY: Because no one else would publish them?

KEETOE: Because no one wants to read it! 

SANDY: Well I presume you have, so perhaps you could reassure the rest of us that there’s definitely no merit in the idea that America was involved in destroying this Russian pipeline to insure their EU and NATO allies could control the flow of energy into Europe?  

KNEETOE: Umm, I haven’t “read” the article, per se, ahhh, I don’t want to pay a subscription for that junk… 

SANDY: It’s free Tony! I’m looking at it now and it actually seems like there is quite a lot of evidence in there, listen to this quote from the article, which is attributed to a source directly related to the planning and operation of the sabotage

Voiceover: “Last June, the Navy divers, operating under the cover of a widely publicised mid-summer NATO exercise known as BALTOPS 22, planted the remotely triggered explosives that, three months later, destroyed… the Nord Stream pipelines 

KNEETOW: Obvious lies!

Voiceover: “From its earliest days, Nord Stream was seen by Washington and its anti-Russian NATO partners as a threat to western dominance… The direct route, which bypassed any need to transit Ukraine, had been a boon for the German economy, which enjoyed an abundance of cheap Russian natural gas.”

KNEETOW: Bull craaaap!

Voiceover: “Putin would [now] have an additional and much-needed major source of income… and the rest of Western Europe would become addicted to low-cost natural gas supplied by Russia—[while] diminishing European reliance on America… Washington was afraid that countries like Germany would be reluctant to supply Ukraine with the money and weapons it needed to defeat Russia.”

SANDY: Ahh, Tony, Toney are you there? Umm, it seems we’ve lost Tony, but I wonder if we could get a guy with a lot of military badges to do what Tony was booked to do?

SANDY: LT. Gen. Kirby? Ah, he’ll be perfect The Drudge! – Very reassuring, thank you!