The 2024 INN Golden Sock Puppet of the Year Award

BRIAN: Onward to the moment we’ve all been waiting for…

SANDY: You mean the 46 people who watch this show…

BRIAN: It’s growing! Its going to take off Sandy! There’s over 100 videos! The Hand will finish school, people will donate, its going to be huge…

SANDY: Yeah, let’s just do the Golden Sock Puppet awards Brian, It might be our last one…

BRIAN: It won’t Sandy! And this’ll be the best one yet! Trophy and Music Please, the Drudge!

SANDY: Wow!

BRIAN: Well last year’s GSPOTY award was a ripper, be sure to check it out if you haven’t already… but, now, without further adieu, here are the nominees for the 2024 GSPOTY – our Golden Sock Puppet of The Year for the person or organisation who did the most to keep people thinking INNformation, rather than for themselves… and the nominees are… 

• ADAM BANDT: The leader of the Australian Greens, Bandt spent more time on social media than he did in parliament, opposing almost every policy proposal for not being woke, inclusive, climate-y or palestinian enough…
• THE WOMEN OF THE VIEW: The entire cast of the ABC chat show, for their absolutely relentless political fear mongering, supplying a constant stream of fuel to the already raging fire of division that is today’s united states of america
• BENJAMIN ‘BIBI’ NETANYAHU: The Prime Minister of Israel, for using props and slideshows in press conferences to showing the world just how simple it is to justify his unending retaliation and destruction of the palestinian people – despite polls suggesting just 22% of Israleis want him to run for Prime minister again.
• VOLODYMYR ZELENSKY: The President of Ukraine, for using money and credit pleas in press conferences to show the world just how simple it is to justify the continuation of the war with Russia over negotiation – despite polls suggesting just 22% of Ukrainians want to re-elect Zelensky for another term.
• KAMALA HARRIS: For somehow climbing to the very pinnacle of American power, shafting Ol’ mate Joe Biden who she told us was ‘sharp as a tack’, and running for president on a campaign of hope and joy… blowing over a billion dollars on labelling her opponents fascists and threats to democracy
• And DICTIONARIES: With words like Brat, Romantasy, Enshittification and the TikTok trend Demure winning word of the year awards, the big fat books have become even bigger attention seekers than the influencers on Tik Tok they’re getting their words from

BRIAN: And the winner of the Golden Sock Puppet of the Year for 2024 is… Kamala Harris!

LARRY: That’s right, it was a tough race but there was no denying that Kamala Harris was the standout winner of this year’s GSPOTY, amassing a whopping 1 billion dollars of expenditure to NOT win the US presidency in 2025. Harris framed her campaign as a choice between freedom or the end of democracy, using her experience as a prosecutor to put Trump on trial yet again. But Americans couldn’t get past the woman who doctored conviction numbers to look tough on crime, cracked down on cannabis users before admitting to smoking it herself, laughed maniacally and waffled on during vapid answers, and got a leg up, so to speak, by being openly being the play toy of the married Gov Willie Brown AGE 60 when she was 29. Harris latched onto BRAT summer to try and stay hip with the kids, and splashed JOY all over her campaign, even her running mate Tim Walz, who lied repeatedly about his military service. Rather than discuss policy, Kamala spent most most of the campaign telling people her opponents fascists, weird and threats to democracy, and despite these efforts to keep people INN formation, by dismissed every republican talking point they had, she lost the public vote by almost 2.5 millions votes… and for that, Kamala Harris becomes the INN Golden Sock Puppet of the year for 2024!

BRIAN: Wow, another amazing GSPOTY presentation…

SANDY: I don’t think it wasn’t even close, was it?

BRIAN: I don’t know… I thought those ladies from THE VIEW deserved a gong… 

SANDY: They sure do, but I am glad to see such a prestigious award going to a black, middle class woman of colour, who is black, and was raised in the middle class as a woman, Brian.

BRIAN: Oh, she was magnificent this year… And certainly kept everyone in formation for a while there…

SANDY: Oh, I thought she was a certainty for President when Trump was going on about eating the dogs and cats… 

BRIAN: Me too… I really don’t know what happened…

SANDY: … Well, yes you do Brian, she really wasn’t very good! You don’t wanna sound just like all the other network news anchors…

BRIAN: Oh, yes, you’re right, sorry about that… She really wasn’t very good, was she

SANDY: Nah, she was terrible…