‘Putin’s Price Hike’ to Blame for Possible Halloween Chocolate Shortage

SANDY HOSIER: In a year already filled with crisis, the CEO of Hershey’s chocolate company has announced possible candy shortages, just weeks before the annual candy consuming holiday of Halloween. But almost like magic, news programs around the world began to air story after story on America’s 3rd largest candy company, reminding viewers about all the delicious candies they sold, and the risk of running out due to supply chain issues and high inflation caused by Vladimir Putin’s unprovoked war on Ukraine.

The shocking news of the possible candy shortage is already causing families to fracture, sending children into tailspins and forcing parents to explain the concept of scarcity to kids, clearly unable to understand in this age of entitlement. Mainstream media are doing their best to ensure regular folk are INNformation on who is to blame for the possible candy shortage. The Putin finger-pointing was expected, but with candy now on the line, everyday Americans are being hit in the gut, where they feel it most, and they weren’t about to take the news lightly – the White House joining the blame train in a calculated effort to ensure the public’s continued support of the current US strategy to address supply chain and inflation issues (i.e. sending $228 million dollars each day to Ukraine to ensure they have the aid and military equipment needed to defeat Russia, end the shortages and inflation, and ensure children around the world get all the candy they think they deserve). 

So Brian, even Halloween has become politicised these days – but news just in, the latest figures from Hershey’s suggest the company is about to post yet another record profit for this year, following record profits throughout the pandemic. And it seems that shortages of Hershey stock hasn’t actually occurred at all… Anywhere! 

BRIAN SOCKINGTON: So it’s possible that all that media attention was just native advertising for Hershey’s? And government talking points?

SANDY: I’d say it’s probably Brian… Brilliant isn’t it?

BRIAN: A little Spooky if you ask me…