Punters Flock to WokeBET to Gamble on Disney’s Demise

BRIAN: A quick cross to Larry & Wayne at WokeBET – Hello Larry. What should punters be throwing their money away on this month? 

LARRY: Thanks Brian, and remember you’re always a winner at WokeBet, unless you lose of course, so sign up today! ‘Worsened’ conditions apply, and always gamble – responsibly! There’s a ton of money being wagered on The Walt Disney Company this month, as punters back everything from total collapse to a brand resurgence in response to Disney’s insistence on adding super-duper inclusive, diverse and woke content to their theme parks, shows and movies recently.

BRIAN: I’ll bet that’s bringing the money in for Disney?

LARRY: Oh the money’s coming in all right – and our Wokebetters are making more coin than Scrooge McDuck punting on Disney policies like theme park price hikes, barely above the minimum wages, mandatory diversity, inclusion and critical race theory education, and giving its characters gender neutral makeovers like Minnie Mouses’ Hillary Clinton style pantsuit. Now you new Wokebetters might’ve missed these ones , but you can get great odds on Disney+ raising their prices to cover the 4 million cancelled subscribers they’ve had so far this year,  and the $300 million dollar box office loss on their animated flop ‘Strange World’. 

BRIAN: Sounds like some great odds Larry, especially since last year’s admission of their not-so-secret agenda…

LARRY: Let’s cross to Wayne Calzetti who has a pretty nice Quaddie for us…

WAYNE: Ok punters, we need to do this quickly today, but I have a very nice Quaddie on the next four Disney Movies that you’d be stupid to miss out on…

BELLA: Wayne! I can’t find my Little Mermaid DVD? Do you move it somewhere?

WAYNE: I haven’t used a DVD for 10 years, honey?

BELLA Well I can’t find it, where are you?

WAYNE: Oh geez, here we go…

• Leg 1 – We’ve seen Captain Marvel become a woman, then Ms Marvel and her friends, and I’m sure having 3 women Marvels will be even more successful in November, so the first leg of our multi is on a Trans superhero movie within the next year – perhaps based on brand new trans comic book hero Sheila Sexton, also known as Escapade! 
• Leg 2 – The latest Indiana Jones saw Harrison Ford’s heroic archeologist be completely humiliated throughout the whole movie by his new female companion Helena, so for our second leg, we’re betting on Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s character to be rewarded by becoming Indiana Jones in a new film of her own, especially now that you change your name and gender without a physician’s report in most US states.  
• Leg 3 – Our third leg is an ‘overs’ bet on the number of references to systemic racism in Disney’s Elemental. We’ve set the line at a very reasonable 6, although you can double your money with a bet of 12 or more, which looks very likely! 
• Leg 4 – And to wrap up our multi, we’re taking a punt on Disney’s upcoming live-action remake of Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs. After this very diverse group of dwarfs were replaced by these digital ones, we’re betting on them teaming up with AI, unionising, and then demanding equal pay as their female Latina co-star – which shouldn’t be too much, right? 

WAYNE: And when the MultiBet comes up, you’ll have enough money to pay for Disney+ AND take the missus to Disneyland! 

BELLA: WAYNE! Where did you go? If I find out you’re doing WokeBet again…

WAYNE: You’ll have to give them back to me first!

LARRY: Ok, we’d better leave Wayne there I reckon before he gets into more trouble! 

BRIAN: Yes, although I’m not sure how much more trouble he could be in given he lives with Bella…

LARRY: Haha, I’ll make sure I don’t mention you said that around her.

BRIAN: Umm, thanks Larry. Larry Fillmore and Wayne Soleitch there  with the latest from WokeBet.